Love is a Battlefield
by The Joker XD
Summary: After two years of mourning her death, realizing she meant more to him than he had originally thought, what will Garrus do when he is given an impossible second chance?
1. Chapter 1

Garrus Vakarian eyed the mercenaries through the scope on his sniper rifle. His scope passed over a group of three. These three were more heavily armed than the other mercs. But that wasn't what caught Garrus' attention. Garrus watched the female who led the group. She walked like, held her rifle like, and searched like…Shepard. Garrus' breath caught in his throat.

A bullet whizzed by his head and he shrank down into cover. His mind was racing. Shepard was dead. She was very, very dead. She had been confirmed dead two years ago after an attack on the Normandy. Garrus had been on the ship. But Garrus had a keen and calculating mind. Either that woman was Commander Kate Shepard or it was a clone.

Garrus looked up over the cover and looked through his scope again; he lined up a shot when a familiar, and surprisingly deeply missed, voice rang in his head, "Archangel?"

Garrus did the only thing he could to control his racing emotions, he held up a hand to signal the woman to wait. Garrus took the shot and hit his target between the eyes. He slouched against the wall and looked up at the woman through his helmet. She wouldn't be able to recognize him for anything but Turian, and for that, he was very thankful.

It was her. It was Kate Shepard, in the flesh, standing before him. Garrus collected himself and stood up, moving to sit on a bar closer to her. He took off his helmet once he sat down and watched as her eyes took him in.

"Garrus?!" She gasped and did something completely unexpected.

She gathered him in a rough embrace, taking him completely by surprise.

He closed his eyes and relaxed slightly, but barely, in her embrace. His heart was racing. He had never admitted his romantic feelings for his former Commander but he loved her. His world had come crashing down around him two years ago when he was informed of her death. His head was spinning.

"Garrus," She whispered into his ear, squeezing him even tighter.

"Shepard," His voice was barely more than a whisper, but it was rough in a way Shepard had never heard before.

"I've missed you, Garrus," She admitted in another whisper to her dear friend.

"You were dead, Shepard," Garrus said pushing her away from him slowly.

"I know," She looked at the floor.

"You know? Well, I'm certainly glad you know you were dead, Shepard. I am more interested in how exactly you are alive," Anger was boiling deep in his gut. He felt betrayed. Had she not been dead the last two years? Had she left him broken to go into hiding?

"I can explain," Shepard said and reached out to touch Garrus, who jerked away.

Garrus' mind exploded with a blinding pain as he slammed into the hard, cement floor. He didn't know what was happening but there was blood all over him. He tasted blood in his mouth and he could faintly hear gunshots. He slipped briefly into unconsciousness and was awoken by Shepard calling his name loudly.

He coughed up blood and she told him to hold on and that she was getting him out of there.


	2. Chapter 2

Garrus woke with a throbbing pain on the right side of his face.

"Garrus Vakarian, it has been some time," Doctor Chakwas greeted him as he came to.

"Where the hell am I? Doctor Chakwas?" Garrus was having a serious case of déjà vu.

"You're in the med-bay, Commander Shepard brought you here, you were injured severely," She was cut off by Garrus.

"Where is Shepard?" Garrus' eyes were on fire through all of his confusion and pain.

"She's in the briefing room; would you like me to take you there?" She offered, smiling slightly. She had seen right through Garrus two years ago. He was unaware of it but she knew about his feelings for the commander.

"No, I'd like to go by myself, thank you, though," Garrus said and woozily gathered himself up to his full height.

"Garrus…" She said to his back and he glanced over his shoulder, waiting for her to speak, "This time, make sure you tell her…You probably won't be so lucky to get a third chance," She said quietly.

"Tell her what?" Garrus turned around to face her, swallowing hard.

"That you love her," Chakwas eyed him, smiling softly.

"Excuse me?" Garrus coughed uncomfortably.

"Garrus, your secret is safe with me," She waved a hand dismissively toward him.

"How did you know? Who else knows?" Garrus approached her quickly, his voice low, as if he is scared of something.

"No one else knows as far as I am aware. I saw the way you looked at her, the way you watched her. She captivated you. It was extremely subtle, you're good at controlling your emotions, but I am trained to notice things others overlook," She sighed at him.

"Please do not tell her, Doctor," Garrus was not a pleading man, but he begged her silent.

"I will not reveal the best of you, Garrus," She chuckled, "But do not let her go without knowing…You owe it to her as much as to yourself."

Garrus eyed her carefully and then turned and limped out of the medical bay. The resemblance between this ship and the Normandy was unsettling but made for an easy trip to the briefing room.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fully functional but," An unknown male was speaking as the metal doors hissed open, announcing Garrus' arrival.

Kate took him in, worry in her eyes.

"Tough son-of-a-bitch. Didn't think he'd be up yet," The black male said as he left, leaving Kate and Garrus alone.

"How are you?" She looked at him.

"No one would give me a mirror, how bad is it, really?" He attempted to lighten his own mood.

"Hell, you were always ugly Garrus, slap some face paint on and no one could tell the difference!" She shrugged at him, laughing softly.

Garrus' features hardened, "Shepard…"

"Vakarian…" She approached him slowly.

"I thought you were dead," He said in a low rumble.

"I was dead, Garrus," She said, studying his face.

"How are you here, then? Why…Why haven't I…We, your crew, heard from you! How could you just abandon us for two years?!" He was obviously very upset.

"I didn't abandon you, Garrus! I didn't abandon any of you! I was dead! I was brought back by Cerberus. They used "Project Lazarus" to bring me back. It took two years, and even still it wasn't completely finished…" Her voice trailed off as she watched Garrus' eyes shift continuously over the floor as he tried to understand.

"Garrus, you're hurt…" She took a few steps toward him when he shook his head vigorously.

"Of course I'm hurt, Shepard, I just got blasted in the face and had my jaw sewn back on…" He spat out.

"No, I mean, you're hurt…" She was very close to him now and she bravely put her hand over his chest and felt his heart beating wildly, "You're hurt…here."

"Shepard," He cleared his throat and stepped away from her.

"Garrus, please talk to me…You know I would never abandon my crew. I would never abandon you," She added and his eyes flitted over her face quickly.

"Shepard…It's been…two years. I…we all mourned you. We all fell apart. You were the glue that held us all together. We knew we were never going to see you again. I thought I'd never get to tell-" He cut himself short.

"Tell what, Garrus?" She approached him again, her soft hand resting on his shoulder.

He couldn't stand her being so close to him anymore. Two years of grief washed over him and he pulled her to him. He was scared to hurt her fragile human form but he needed to feel her alive against him. The tears overwhelmed him. The normally emotionally controlled Garrus Vakarian had been reunited with the love of his life after two years thinking she was dead.

She squeezed her arms tightly around his neck, careful of his wounds though and laid her head on his shoulder, "Garrus…shhh, it's okay, Garrus. I'm right here. I'm right here."

He took in her scent. He felt her breathe against him. He could feel her heart beating strong against his chest. The warmth of her arms around him convinced him of the blood that flowed through her veins. Her small form against him drowned him in emotion. She made a slight move and he gasped, "Please don't move, not yet, please."

"I'm not going anywhere Garrus, I was just trying not to hit your wounds with my arm," She said into his chest.

"Hurt me, choke me, anything but leave…" He sobbed.

"Garrus, Garrus, I'm not leaving, you can hold onto me for as long as you like," She whispered.

_"If only you knew."_ He thought as he pushed his nose into her hair.

"Garrus, I'm worried about you…I've never seen you like this. I've seen you hurt and angry and scared but I've never seen you cry. You were this collected, calculated, cool cop. What's happened to you in the last two years, Garrus? Garrus, you're shaking!" She looked at him, a very concerned look on her face.

"Don't let go of me, I don't think I can stand by myself," He said, his voice shaking just as much as his body.

Her surprising strength held him up with ease, "Garrus, what did you need to tell?"

"I needed to tell you…" He said, his shakes increasing.

"Tell me what, Garrus?" She squeezed him tighter, pushing herself against him even more.

"How I feel. I missed you so much, Kate," He uttered her first name and she closed her eyes, how she had missed Garrus.

"I missed you, too, Garrus. I wanted to come and find you as soon as I was able too, but the Illusive Man told me you were unable to be found…"

"No, you need to know…you need to understand. When you…died, I considered ending my own life. You were…are…everything to me. You lit my soul on fire, Kate, I've never considered another species before but you…you are it for me. You're the one. I don't care if you don't feel the same, well, I do, but, I need you to know. I won't go on without you knowing, I won't risk losing you again without telling you…I love you, Kate, I love you…" He sobbed into her neck.

Her piercing blue eyes met his grey eyes in a shocked expression.

He could barely look at her. He was so embarrassed. He hadn't planned on telling her how he felt at all, let alone sobbing on her shoulder and confessing his unconditional love for her. His grip on her slackened and he pulled away, exhaling as he did. He missed her body against his chest already.

"Garrus, look at me," She whispered.

"I apologize for my behavior, Commander, it will not happen again…" The pain in his eyes tore her heart in two.

"Garrus, let me speak!" She pleaded.

"No, Commander," He put his hand up in front of her, "Quite frankly, I'm terrified of hearing what you have to say. I will let you get on with your work…" He turned and left, leaving Shepard staring after him.


	4. Chapter 4

Garrus, dazed, found his way to the main battery. He sat down and held his broken and bruised face in his hands.

_"What an idiot. She used to depend on me for strength and courage. I was always collected…I've ruined everything. She'll never take me on a mission with her now that I'm such a wreck. She probably thinks I'm so weak…What the hell have I done?"_ Two clear tears leaked out of his eye.

Weeks passed and her crew had grown substantially. They had picked up Grunt, the Krogan, Zaeed, the veteran, Jack, the criminal, and Thane, the assassin. He did not care at all for Zaeed and Jack, honestly, frightened him. She was unstable and rash. Grunt and Garrus had never truly spoken as they had never gone on a mission together and had never really run into each other on the ship because Garrus kept himself held up in the main battery except when Shepard asked him to join her on a mission, which was near every mission.

He liked Thane. Thane was calm and collected and he was incredibly polite. Thane had come to visit him several times through their missions. Often, Thane and Garrus were Shepard's choices for a team for whatever mission was thrown at them.

Speaking of Thane, the battery doors opened with a low hiss, "Hello, Garrus."

"Thane," Garrus nodded at him, obviously in a troubled mood.

"You seem…distracted. Anything you care to speak about?" Thane's politeness was undoing him. He trusted Thane and Thane trusted him. Thane had told him about his wife and son before he had told the Commander. It had been Garrus who had convinced Thane to talk to the Commander about it.

"I'm not sure, Thane," Garrus breathed in heavily and exhaled slowly.

"May I venture a guess?" Thane's eyes studied Garrus.

Garrus shrugged, truly not paying attention.

"Is it about the Commander?" Thane's question snapped Garrus back to reality.

"What did you say?"

"Is your…distracted state, due to the Commander?" Thane restated his question.

"No…Yes," Garrus sighed, shaking his head as Thane moved around in front of him.

"Is this about your feelings for her?" Thane questioned in the same polite tone.

"How did you know about that? Did she tell you?" Garrus looked at him defensively.

"No," Thane stated simply.

"Then how did you know?" Garrus' emotions were rising and quickly.

"I observed," Thane said.

"Observed?" Garrus cocked his head slightly.

"I have come to care for both you and the Commander, Garrus, as friends. I trust both of you implicitly. I cannot help but to notice how you watch her, how you stand protectively behind her. You would not allow anything to harm her as long as you could help it. The same goes for me, as well, however, she is nothing more than a dear friend to me. You, Garrus, you love her…" Thane studied Garrus again, blinking slowly.

Garrus saw no use in hiding from Thane, "Yes," He sighed.

"Have you told her?" Thane asked quietly.

"Yes," Garrus muttered.

"What did she say?" Thane eyed him.

"I didn't exactly let her speak, Thane," Garrus looked at the floor.

"Why not?" Thane questioned, shocked.

"I didn't want to hear what she had to say…She…scares me," Garrus was ashamed.

"Has she tried to speak to you since?"

"About that, no," Garrus shook his head.

"I believe that she cares for you, Garrus. She loves you. I do not think that she wants to 'intrude' into your private life and thoughts, however," Thane said plainly.

"What do you mean?"

"I am assuming that you are embarrassed at how you told her, judging by your actions now, so I am assuming Shepard does not wish to cause you any further discomfort. Perhaps she has assumed that you do not actually want to be with her?" Thane said.

"How could she ever think that I don't want to be with her? The only person I want to be with is her…She makes me feel…safe, protected, and…happy," Garrus' voice trailed off.

"Siha," Thane whispered.

"What?" Garrus looked at him questioningly.

"One of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector," Thane explained.

"Siha?" Garrus said softly.

"Shepard is your Siha, just as Irikah was mine," Thane exhaled.

"My Siha…" Garrus nodded slowly.

"One is lucky to meet a Siha in life. You must never let your Siha go if you find her," Thane pointed out.

"What do I do?" Garrus said, clearly conflicted within himself.

"Go and get your Siha," Thane said, putting a gentle hand on Garrus' shoulder.

Garrus nodded, "Do you know where she is?"

"Her cabin, where she always is before a mission," Thane whispered.

Garrus thanked Thane quickly and strode into the elevator. His shaking talon pressed the button that would take him to the Commander's cabin.


	5. Chapter 5

He walked slowly into her room, stopping after the door closed behind him.

"Garrus?" She turned from her computer, a shocked expression on her face.

"Shepard…" His determination faltered and he rubbed a tense muscle in his neck absentmindedly.

"Let me help you, Garrus," She whispered, grabbing his other hand and leading him to the chair she had just been occupying. He sat down in it and stared at her, unsure of what she was doing.

"Relax, Garrus, you need to relax," She breathed in his ear as her cool hands worked on his scaly skin, rubbing around the sore muscle.

"Shepard…I…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a jerk, I'm sorry for everything," He said in a low voice.

"It's okay, Garrus, but you need to let me talk…" She said, digging her thumb into a tender spot in his neck, causing him to wince breifly and then relax.

"I know," He nodded slightly in agreement.

"Garrus, you are my rock. You are my safe place. You're where I run too when the going gets tough. You make my heart beat fast and slow at the same time, I'm not sure if that's safe, but I like it. Garrus," She turned him around in the chair, "I love you, too."

Garrus looked at her, his mandibales flexing slowly, his eyes filled with shock and disbelief. She looked at him for a second and then walked away, staring at the fish in her tank.

Garrus sighed and followed her movements to the tank. He stood behind her, a small distance between their bodies.

"I don't want anyone else but you, Kate. There is no one I respect, cherish, or care about more than you," He whispered.

"I don't want anyone else either, Garrus. This…suicide mission…" She choked, "It scares the hell out of me, Garrus. This crew…they're my friends. They trust me. You, I love you. How can I march straight into hell with people I care so much about, potentially leading them to their demise?" Her eyes filled with tears.

Garrus slid his hands around her waist and pressed her body into his. He placed his chin in the nape of her neck and let one of his mandibales flex lightly against her neck, causing her to twitch slightly.

"We all knew the risk when we signed up, Kate. Besides, if there is anyone who can get us all out alive, it's you. But, if you die on me again, Kate," He shivered at the thought, tugging her impossibly closer to him, "I will end my own life just to smack you in the after-life…"

"Garrus," She turned her cheek so that it was against his.

"I love you, Kate, please…please…don't leave me…" He closed his eyes tight.

"I promise, I won't…But you have to promise the same," She whispered.

"I promise," He squeezed her tighter, enjoying the feeling of having her safe in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

"We should get down to the shuttle. The Illusive Man will want a report within the next few hours on the Collector ship…"

Garrus rumbled against her, nuzzling his forehead into her cheek, "And who will be joining you in the ship?"

"Thane Krios and some damn Turian," She pushed away from him playfully.

He pulled her back into his arms, "The assassin Drell, the damn Turian, and the stubborn Human."

"Sounds like a force to be reckoned with," She smiled into his plated chest.

"Shall we go and better the galaxy, my lady?" Garrus chuckled.

"Of course, sir," She smiled and he followed her down to the shuttle.

"Thane and Garrus are with me, the rest of you…make sure we make it out," She smiled lightly, a hint of uncertainity in her eyes.

Shepard jumped out into the Collector ship, eyes expanding and mouth dropping as she observed her surroundings. Garrus and Thane followed suit.

"It looks like a giant insect hive," Thane exhaled as he stared up at the ceiling.

"It's…huge," Garrus was amazed at the size of the ship. He had known it was large from the outside but from the inside, the towering cielings and walls made him feel like a small bug.

"Alright," Shepard looked behind her, "Stay sharp…I have no idea what we're going to run in to in here…"

Garrus looked at Thane who nodded at him as the followed behind Shepard. Each had their weapons drawn. Garrus looked down at his Viper sniper rifle. His was silver and Thane's was black. Thane and Garrus were both excellent snipers which is presumably why they were selected to go with Shepard whenever she picked her crew. Garrus liked to entertain the idea that Shepard, while she trusted all of her crew with her life, felt the safest with Garrus and Thane behind her, because they are her closet friends.

A rank smell flooded Garrus' sharpened nose, "This looks bad."

"Why would the Collectors leave a pile of bodies here?" Thane questioned, clearly horrified.

"Probably used for some test. My guess, these people failed…" Garrus said softly.

"There are worse things than death," Shepard's voice rang out in an eery way, "Let's move on."

"Commander, on a hunch, I asked EDI to run a test…" Joker's voice buzzed in their ears.

"I ran data collected from this ship and compared it to data collected on the original Normandy two years ago. They are an exact match," EDI's robotic voice came next.

"The same ship dogging me for two years? That's more than a coincidence," Shepard eyed her team and they nodded in agreement.

"Watch your back, Commander, something doesn't feel right," Joker clicked the radio off.

"We have your back, Commander," Garrus reassured her.

"You are well protected, Shepard," Thane gestured to their rifles.

Shepard looked between the two men and gave a small smile to each of them. Her lover and her best friend behind her with two advanced sniper rifles and each with a superior shot. They wouldn't let anything touch her so long as it was in their power. She turned and continued moving through the ship.

"Look, more of those strange pods," Thane's eyes travelled to the ceiling again and the other two team members followed his gaze.

"I wonder how many of them are full…" Garrus' voice was somber.

"Too many…" Shepard whispered as she continued walking.

"I detect no signs of life in the pods, Shepard. It is possible that those inside died when the ship's main power was lost," EDI's voice echoed in their ears.

The team travelled in silence until they walked through an archway into a room with a ceiling so high it was breathtaking.

"Oh, no…" Thane whispered, examining the ceiling through his scope.

"They could attack every human colony in the Terminus System and still not have enough to fill these pods," Garrus whispered in awe and fear.

"They're going to target Earth," Thane's stomach became uneasy at the thought.

"Not if we stop them," Shepard said through clenched teeth, "Come on, let's get the date and get the hell out of this place."

Garrus watched the Commander. She was angry and scared but she was very deteremined, "There. There's some kind of console," Garrus pointed out to the Commander who immediately made the connection to EDI.

The ship lurched and Shepard radioed to Joker, "We're alright but what the hell was that?"

"I…I don't know, Commander," Joker's voice, for the first time, was unsure.

"Someone else is in the system. This was a trap, Shepard," EDI's voice sounded surprised and Shepard's heart dropped.

"Bastard!" She spat.

Garrus saw the flames behind her eyes but was jerked to the ground as the pad they were standing on lifted into the air. His eyes searched around frantically along with Shepard's and Thane's. They were looking for an attacker.

The pad came to a stop with a lurch that caused the team to roll forward unvoluntarily.

They got to their feet and saw other pads approaching them.

"It will take some time for me to establish control," EDI told Shepard.

"Well, you better be quick, EDI, we have company," Shepard dove for cover as the Collector's began to fire.

Garrus and Thane took out target after target from range while Shepard moved forward, causing numerous casualities on her own.


End file.
